Today, I’m here to tackle Harry Potter, and wow, do I have a lot I’m confused about!
1. Why did Harry’s parents look 40 in the flashbacks and mirror when they were only 21 when they died?
They also use the same actors for the photographs Hagrid gives Harry. It’s weird.
2. How come aurors found Pettigrew’s finger and were just like “hmm, he must be dead”?
I feel like a finger is not a large enough body part to assume the person is dead.
3. Also, I get that Peter wanted to stay hidden so people would think he was dead. But…why stay with the Weasleys so long?
Couldn’t he sense Voldemort in the first book? Why didn’t he go hang with Quirrell? Was he sticking with the Weasleys to gather intel on Harry? And how did Ron not need, like, years of therapy to get over the fact that he spent years holding and sleeping next to a beloved pet that turned out to be a fully grown mass killer of a man???
4. What would’ve happened if someone just, like, shot Voldemort?
Or the Death Eaters?? I feel like they should’ve at least tried it. Like, remember that Buffy episode where some mythical monster dude is like “no weapon forged can kill me” and Buffy literally just blows him up with a bazooka? We needed that energy.
5. Can you sue in the wizard world?
For all Malfoy’s “my father” threats, you would think there would be a lot more suing in Harry Potter.
6. And if so, how were there not any liability lawsuits?
Hogwarts is literally just asking to be covered in liability lawsuits. If I were Hermione’s parents and my kid came home talking about a three-headed dog and giant chess game where big stone monsters attacked you, I would simply sue.
7. Like, did anyone ever fall off the moving staircases?
I get that a lot of medical problems can be fixed with magic, but if you fall from that high up, you’re dead and magic can’t help you anymore. Seems pretty unsafe.
8. Who the heck funds Hogwarts?
Kids don’t seem to pay tuition, but the teachers must be paid, right? Also, there is so much property damage and just general upkeep stuff. Are they just entirely using slave labor?
9. What is wizard birth control like?
And how come there were no pregnancies at Hogwarts? (To be fair, there were a bunch of fanfics where there were.)
10. What the heck were Hogwarts’ hiring practices and qualifications to be a professor??
I get that no one wanted to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts since the teachers kept dying, but still. Hiring someone named “Mad-Eye Moody” (and then not taking measures to make sure he’s who he says he is!!) seems like something that shouldn’t have happened. Also, how does one become qualified to be a professor? Kinda seemed like Snape just went from being a Death Eater to a teacher.
11. What happened to earlier Defense Against the Dark Arts professors before Quirrell?
This whole only-lasting-a-year curse started before Harry, right? So what happened to all the past teachers when Harry wasn’t around to cause his annual end-of-year havoc?
12. What did the other kids think of Harry? Was Harry considered popular?
I know there were times people turned against him, but in general, what was his rep? I feel like he would’ve annoyed me so much if I was just, like, a normal kid doing my thing at Hogwarts.
13. What the heck did the muggle world think was going on during the wizarding wars?
I know they tackled this a little bit and established that the UK prime minister at least knows about the wizarding world and Voldemort. But I still feel like there must’ve been WAY too much bad shit going on to not tell the greater population more.
14. I know this isn’t a great question, but…why did they do Ginny like that?
Book Ginny was one of my FAVORITE characters. No offense to Bonnie Wright (I think it was more the writing), but movie Ginny was NOTHING like her. Book Ginny was so much more fiery and badass.
15. Can wizards and witches cure cancer?
And if so, they’re all terrible people for letting a ton of muggles die from it.
16. How do muggles not know about giants and dragons??
This just feels impossible to me. I don’t care how much magic you have, people explore the world too much now and there’s too much access to photography. I don’t buy that not that many people encounter giants or dragons. What about airplanes??
17. Why on earth did Harry become a cop??
I get it, like, what are you gonna do after you save the world at 17? But he literally could’ve done anything. And he chose to be a cop.