17 Movie Quotes I Had Always Misheard Until I Used Closed Captions

1. I can’t hear Jasmine’s singing over the high-speed carpet ride. Whoa, slow down, Aladdin!

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I always thought the lyric during Aladdin’s “A Whole New World” was: “Every turn a surprise, every moment gets better.”

2. You’re a wizard, Gandalf! But I don’t know what you’re saying.

In Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo asks Gandalf if he’ll keep an eye on Frodo. I thought he replied: “Two eyes. As long as I can spell.” I assumed it was a wizard thing, but he actually says: “As often as I can spare them.”

3. I just couldn’t comprehend Gandalf’s lingo that never really existed anywhere but in my own mind.

In Fellowship of the Ring, the infamous line “Fly, you fools” was one I heard incorrectly. I heard: “Folly, you fools.” I thought it was another weird wizard expression.

4. Me pirate lingo is out of control!

In the first Pirates of the Caribbean film, Curse of the Black Pearl, Mr. Gibbs asks Captain Jack Sparrow, “What’s in your head that’s put you in such a fine mood, Captain?” I thought he responded, “Me catchin’ up.”

5. It felt like everyone back in the day spoke in a higher pitch, and the struggle was real for me growing up and trying to decipher old movies like The Wizard of Oz.

“I’m all to blame for the bite on my leg.” Weird to blame yourself, I thought as a kid. Maybe that’s just an old expression or something.

6. I watched Star Wars so much as a kid that my knowledge leaked over into other films.

In Spider-Man, I thought the Green Goblin kept saying, “Bacta formula,” as in the kind of formula he is using. In Star Wars, they used bacta tanks, so in my head, I thought it made perfect scientific sense. “I’m quite the scientist myself.”

7. I still don’t fully catch this one in The Dark Knight at first listen without closed captions.

In The Dark Knight, James Gordon retorts a snide remark from Harvey Dent by saying…something. He sort of mumbles it, and I never knew what he said as a kid.

8. Watching Hamilton for the first time made me realize I had a lot of lines wrong.

Hamilton’s debut on Disney+ (yes, I’m counting it as a movie for this list) meant finally seeing the performance in a new light…and man, did I mishear some of the lyrics. I truly thought, during “My Shot,” Hercules Mulligan said: “And I got John Knuckleheads as a local apprentice.”

9. I don’t blame Leslie Odom, that talented, talented man; I blame myself on this one.

So on initial viewing, I thought Alexander Hamilton came to the States by “taking a book collection to send him to the mainland.” The real line is “took up a collection,” although I wonder if my book collection could help me travel.

10. I somehow got this line right and wrong at the same time.

I hadn’t watched Inception a bunch, but recently I realized I totally misheard Tom Hardy. I was close on this one, though, since the actual line is: “Don’t know. See if they start shooting.” Because I originally heard: “Don’t worry; see if he starts shooting.”

11. I’m starting to think I wasn’t the smartest kid.

As a kid, I thought Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story said: “You are a sad and strange little man. And you have my penny.”

12. I actually understand most of what Andre the Giant says in The Princess Bride, but this one line always stumped me.

In The Princess Bride, Fezzik responds to his size advantage, but I always thought he said: “A fighter isn’t the biggest and the strongest…no matter what the size.”

13. People are harder to understand when they’re angry.

When I was a kid watching The Mummy, I believed the line to be: “Straighten up this, Miss (inaudible).” I thought it was like “Evina” or “Anav,” but whatever it was, it was Evelyn’s last name.
He actually uses the word: “MESHIVER,” which I can only assume means “mess.”

14. Maybe I just misheard half of The Mummy.

The same movie and the same setting. Jonathan reveals a very integral detail about Hamunaptra. The real quote is: “The entire necropolis was rigged to sink in the sand.”

15. The Matrix has some great dialogue, and I always thought this was just an acting choice.

When Agent Smith is interrogating Morpheus and reveals his motives, he has an excellent way to describe the Matrix. I thought he said, “This oooh…this prison,” but he clearly says, “This zoo. This prison.”

16. As a kid, I always wondered why grains never had a bigger role in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

When introducing himself to Harry Potter, Hagrid says: “Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.” I thought he said “grains,” not “Grounds.”

17. In the next film, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I grew up thinking Mr. Weasley was a weirdo.

So I seriously thought Mr. Weasley walked over to the kids and said: “Children, there’s a man in here. Let’s go outside.” What man? Is he dangerous? Why do we need to leave?

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