10 Most Hilarious Sarcastic One-Liners of Chandler from ‘Friends’

 Alongside the six main characters, some supporting characters, and Central Perk, the show is infinitely quotable. The king of the quote on Friends is, of course, Chandler. Chandler is the master of the one-liner due to his blend of being funny alongside being insanely sarcastic. Here are just 10 of Chandler Bing’s many, many hilarious, sarcastic one-liners.

“I’M GLAD WE’RE HAVING A REHEARSAL DINNER. I SO RARELY GET TO PRACTICE MY MEALS BEFORE I EAT THEM.”

What made this funnier was how Phoebe called him out on the fact his gift to Phoebe, and Mike was not to do the usual Chandler sarcasm stuff. When Chandler pointed out that he thought that was for the real wedding, Phoebe told him to practice it. A hilarious back-and-forth.

“ITS SEVEN YEARS AGO. MY TIME MACHINE WORKS!”

Here is another classic, simple, sarcastic Chandler line. When Ross barges in to complain about Mark and Rachel having dinner, saying Mark wants to get in her pants, Ross forgets this is season 10, not season 3.

“DEAR GOD! THIS PARACHUTE IS A KNAPSACK!”

 When Chandler and Monica engage in a conversation about kids and marriage, Chandler offers to marry Monica if they are single at forty, much to her dismay. Monica then tries to get it out of Chandler why he thinks she will not be married at forty (ironic), and Chandler tries to find a way out of the conversation. He unleashes this hilarious line and falls over the couch onto the floor.

“OH NO, TWO WOMEN LOVE ME. THEY’RE BOTH GORGEOUS AND SEXY. MY WALLET’S TOO SMALL FOR MY FIFTIES AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!”

When Ross is at a crossroads because he does not know how to choose between Julie and Rachel, Chandler unsympathetically points out how hard Ross’s life is that two girls like that love him. The further Chandler gets in the line, the louder he gets, and it is hilarious.

“YOU SURE HES GONNA BE ABLE TO CRACK THAT CODE?”

The premiere of season 2 was excellent and filled with hilarious moments. A lot of these came from Chandler and Joey concerning Joey’s more-than-questionable tailor. When Joey asks Chandler to tell him he said hello and follows it up with, “He’ll know what it means,” Chandler cannot help pivoting. He makes the hilarious comment about Joey’s ‘code’ before leaving the room.

“I’M SORRY WE DON’T HAVE YOUR SHEEP.”

Walking into Chandler and Joey’s apartment head to toe in bright pink, with a puffy skirt and hat to match the dress, Chandler gave her an iconic introduction with an apology, as he does not have her sheep. Chandler spoke the mind of everyone here, as Rachel did resemble the nursery rhyme character.

“I’M NOT GREAT AT THE ADVICE. CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SARCASTIC COMMENT? SOME CHEESE?

Initially, Chandler tells her it will all be ok, but when Rachel gets on him asking what if it is not, Chandler, clearly uncomfortable with any responsibility, offers her “a sarcastic comment.” This quote has also become pretty famous and was only made better by the offering of cheese.

“YOU HAVE TO STOP THE Q-TIP WHEN THERE’S RESISTANCE.”

Joey tries to figure out how old he was when he first got measured by his tailor, eventually asking “when was 1990,” prompting Chandler to give the piece of advice “stop the q-tip when there is resistance.” It is smart, witty, funny, and while Joey was on the receiving end, it proves that the pair are the best combination on-screen in the early seasons.

“SO IT SEEMS LIKE THIS INTERNET THING’S HERE TO STAY, HUH?”

One such line comes in season 6, as most of the group sits in the coffee house, silent, mostly reading, and Chandler attempts to break the silence. “So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay, huh?” This prompts Monica to tell him there does not always need to be talking, even if silence makes Chandler uncomfortable.

“WELL, MAYBE HE WAS NERVOUS.”

In the Season 2 episode Joey and Chandler refuse to get out of their chairs, you know, “The One Where Ross And Rachel… You Know.” As Ross’s work phones just before he and Rachel can go on their date, a crisis seems to emerge as Ross exclaims down the phone “No! No! No! Homo habilis was erect, Australopithecus was never fully erect!” This prompts Chandler’s genius line, “Well, maybe he was nervous.”

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